Quien fuera. Silvio Rodriguez.

Estoy buscando una palabra,
En el umbral de tu misterio,
Quien fuera Ali Baba,
Quien fuera el mítico Simbad,
Quien fuera un poderoso sortilegio,
Quien fuera encantador.

Estoy buscando una escafandra,
Al pie del mar de los delirios,
Quien fuera Jacques Cousteau,
Quien fuera Nemo el capitán,
Quien fuera el batiscafo de tu abismo,
Quien fuera explorador.

Corazón, corazón oscuro
Corazón, corazón con muros,
Corazón, que se esconde,
Corazón, que esta donde,
Corazón, corazón en fuga,
Herido de dudas y amor.

Estoy buscando melodía,
Para tener como llamarte,
Quien fuera ruiseñor,
Quien fuera Lennon y Mcartney,
Sindo Garay, Violeta, Chico Buarque,
Quien fuera tu trovador.

Corazón, corazón oscuro,
Corazón, corazón con muros,
Corazón, que se esconde,
Corazón, que esta donde,
Corazón, corazón en fuga,
Herido de dudas y amor

first aid

There was an attempted bank robbery next door to my workplace yesterday. Around 3pm, one of our regulars who works at Citibank on Solano Avenue opened the door of the cafe and shouted, "The bank's getting robbed! Call 911! Get everyone inside!" We proceeded to ring the cops and usher everybody in and lock the doors. There were foolish people trying to peer outside through the windows, but after I warned them of the risk of getting shot, they stood on the other side of the counter. It really amazed me that while something dangerous was going on, everybody was still concerned about trivial shit like cashing their checks or wanting to move their cars to avoid a parking ticket. I mean, do you really want to possibly lose your life over a $30 fine? I just don't understand people sometimes...

I've had a really good week so far. On Sunday, I ventured to Green Gulch Farms in Marin county to attend an organic flower gardening class. I took home sunflower, melon, marigold, and zucchini seedlings. I'm hoping they'll be patient enough for me to plant them in a week or two.
After two really good job interviews, I'm just waiting for a call back on Monday or Tuesday.

My brother is moving out of my mom's apartment, which means I'll get to move in. That's the biggest relief I've gotten since I've arrived. It feels good to know that I'll have my habitat in one place for a while.

While all these good things are falling into place, I can't help but feel a little sad too. I feel like this is really the beginning of something possibly permanent. I'm scared to let my roots sink in deep into the rocky terrain of my Californian life because I really don't like the idea of being far away from my fantasies and endless possibilities. Now is the time for action, but I'm not sure what the definitive course of it is.

Song of the Moment: "Siren Song" by Bat For Lashes

2 AM draft

Since I said goodbye to somebody this past week, there hasn't been one day when I haven't felt that stark lack of companionship echoing like a dropped porcelain bowl clattering sharp against brick.

But in all honesty, I've never been as happy as I have been in the last month. Melbourne was the defibrillator my heart longed for. I love Australia and I can't wait to come back as soon as I can. It may not be the same once I feel the absences of people whom I've shared beautiful memories with, but nevertheless, there's so much I still have to do and see.

This trip became everything I could have ever hoped for. It has been one of sheer contrasts; never before have I had episodes of brave self reliance followed almost immediately by unwavering insecurity, or better yet, how the very places that I've WWOOFed at could not be more different from one another. The skills I've learned from each of them have been remarkably varied and I couldn't have planned it better. Life gave me a few good kicks in the ass but followed them with optimal stages of healing and growth. Everything has been unwittingly allocated in its perfect place and time, no matter how much I tend to doubt so.


Song of the Moment: "Ghosts" - Laura Marling

Here, I am in Tasmania. I've been here for about 3 days and have already seen some spectacular landscapes. Today I hiked Freycinet National Park for about 5 hours and got my legs wet at Wineglass Bay. The huge pink granite boulders and seemingly endless eucalyptus forests have been humbling and inspiring. Last night's cloudy sunset gave the mountains a rosy purple hue. It kind of felt like I was entering Jurassic Park and there was a good chance that a bracheosaurus was going to rear its head up from the trees and sneeze on me. I did, however, see two wallabies and an echidna, along with some lizards on the trail. I definitely celebrated like a 5 year old child on a few occasions.

I found that central Hobart has a similar vibe as Wellington's CBD, only visibly neater. Its streets are more straightforward and square, unlike the fickle vines that run through Wellington. The harbor is smaller but ends at Salamanca Place where the Saturday market is held. There was an impressive array of vendors, foods, and typical Tazzie products on show ranging from purely practical to ethereally decadent. My stomach is growls at the recollection of honeys, chocolates, and fresh organic strawberries!

I also made sure to stop by City Organics on Criterion Street. They really make the most of their teeny tiny shop. I recognized many staples and tried a few local delicacies. I had forgotten how wonderful grapes are! It's such a shame that in New Zealand, you can hardly find ones that haven't been imported from California after copious injections of nasty chemicals. Surely, in a country that produces so much wine, there should be some grape producers willing to sell a raw product. No?

Tomorrow, I will head to Bay of Fires and hit the beach (weather permitting). On Tuesday I'll head west to Launceston where I'll meet my WWOOF host. My main concern right now, though, is catching up on the sleep I lost last night in a cold car.

Seven

The days have been tip-toeing smoothly and I'm feeling like the pace is finally just right for now. By this time next week I will be in Melbourne airport marinating in eagerness and excitement while I pass the time until my arrival in Tasmania. Considering I haven't been on the road in quite some time, I'm starting to feel a little nervous and worried that I'll over-pack again. It's a bad habit of mine, one that tends to slither in and go unnoticed until zippers are stretched to their limits. The great thing is, since I'll be weeding and shoveling horse shit around most of the time, I can't possibly convince myself that hoarding a treasure trove of eyeshadows and jewelry is totally worth the "one time I totally wish I had it". Hey, maybe I'm getting better at this... maybe its just a matter of time before I ditch my stuff and learn to be more resourceful. Although, I don't know how I feel about having less than 5 pairs of socks... I guess that why sandals are appealing for people whose feet never get cold.

My tongue has healed well from my frenectomy. Its definitely a bit miserable when you can't enjoy something as lovely as food. Now that it's thankfully over, I'm getting used to my tongue constantly moving and flexing. I guess there are new bits of muscle that have never been mobile and are now free. I didn't really notice for a few days but after a close call with a tooth, i've been more careful of its whereabouts. With luck, my R's will be rrrrrolling in no time.

Yarrow

Achillea millefolium: with its bedraggled, feathery leaf
and pink (less red
than mauve) or off-white flower, its tight little knot
of a head,
its like something keeping a secret
from itself, something on the tip of its own tongue.

p. 44, The Annals of Chile by Paul Muldoon

I'm totally stoked on having some days off! The Christmas ritual is lost on me but I will not pass up the chance to enjoy stuff and do something fun and liberating. Hopefully some sun, bike, beach and books will be in order. I'm being cheap so nobody gets presents from me this Christmas, but believe me, the money is going towards a good cause.
Next port of call: Hobart, Tasmania!

I'm also in the process about writing about orcas. Don't wonder why I'm such a nerd, just acknowledge that killer whales are fucking awesome and we can get on with it.

But before I finish I'll share a vegan avocado and butter bean spread/dip recipe I made up yesterday.

3 avocados, mashed
1/2 tin of butter beans (approximately 1 cup) mashed
2-3 Tablespoons extra-virgin flaxseed or olive oil
1-2 garlic cloves finely minced
5 basil leaves finely chopped (about 10 cilantro/coriander leaves can be sustituted)
salt and pepper to taste