Nightmare Shivers

I never really get nightmares but the one I had last night was pretty frightening. It made me scared of going back home.

I was being yelled at and disowned by my father while my family watched and tried to help me. He was furious and tried to throw me off a mountain (which was made of a sand-like material) but I threw dirt in his eyes. Finally, my cousins led me away from him.

Yesterday had been the first time I had heard about my family since I left. My mom sent me an e-mail updating me on the things that have happened since I left. My little sister, Jazmin, was born. My dad had to fix my car and doesn't understand why I'm in New Zealand to begin with (what else is new).

I'm so happy that I'm here. 

I honestly feel like I don't have anywhere to live in the Bay Area. The amount of money it takes to get an apartment between a few friends is beyond ridiculous. I don't want to live at my dad's house anymore. Aside from the fact that I would have to live with a baby (blehhh!!), I hate having to live with someone who doesn't even attempt to understand me and has expectations that don't fit with my choices in life. I love my family but this is my time to find peace and happiness within myself. This is my salvation from the battles I have to face in a years time.

So far, my experience as a first time WWOOFer has been great. My host Marianna, who lived in San Francisco for most of her life, has been very sweet and . Her family has been really great and I hope to see them again while I live in NZ. 

In the Northland

Driving on the left isn't as hard as I had imagined. Unlike the Bay Area, everything is at least a 30 minute drive through winding country roads.

I have never seen so many cows and sheep in my life..

Winter just ended but the rain is omnipresent.

Kiwis have very different customer service standards. Maybe it's because I'm American but I have never seen servers be so inattentive and even rude. I'm not demanding or high maintenance so excuse me for prefering my latte without germs from the hand you coughed into.

The beaches are so beautiful! I've never seen the Pacific so calm and inviting. It's still cold as hell but much easier to enjoy when the water is a healthy blue, not gross greenish brown. One beach in particular was really awesome because there were hot springs underneath the sand. You could stick your foot underneath and get hit by a wave without shivering. At low tide you can dig yourself a nice pool and just simmer for an hour until the tide comes in.

I'm kind of disappointed that, besides Auckland, everything has been a tiny little cow town which took an hour or two to reach. Although the country side is beautiful and has its enjoyable qualities, there really isn't a whole lot to do when it's not summer.

We'll see how things shape up in the next week. Hopefully, I'll have happier things to write about.

Song of the Moment: "Hatian Love Songs" by CocoRosie

I made it!

The flight was pretty chill and not nearly as uncomfortable as I had imagined. I watched like 5 hours worth of movies and The Simpsons (Air New Zealand actually has great flight entertainment compared to other airlines I've flown with).

It's Tuesday and none of the banks open until 9 am?


Auckland looks and feels really similar to SF. Maybe its just the fog though.

More later.. I'm using timed internet so things may not be worded as nicely or detailed as I would normally like.

I really really really really need a shower..

Song of the Moment: "Unleash the Bastards" by Municipal Waste

6 days left

Making everyday count is harder than I thought.

I already started packing my clothes and doing a bunch of inventory of the stuff I will actually need. I'm so nervous. With everyday that passes, sleep takes a little bit longer to slip into and I keep tangling my thoughts into a jumbled mess. The panic has yet to settle in. Its presence lies in the back of my mind waiting to freeze away my calmness and optimism. The thought of being all alone in a new country is really frightening. Knowing that I will probably have to reinvent myself continuously in order to adapt to my surroundings is also pretty intimidating (although I know its exactly what my life needs now).

I suppose I'll rant more about that later..

Today I went to Tilden Park with Roxaroni. I like going out there on afternoons right after a scorching day and watching the animals lazily munching on the sun scorched grasses.

Full Bloom

Wow, talk about make or break. It's time to get my shit straight before I head to New Zealand. I've already been planning the first couple weeks of my stay there, but I definitely need to think about just what I'm gonna do with myself once my mom flies back home. The trouble is, everything here is just starting to blossom into exactly what I've wanted since last summer. I'm happy to head out on a very high note but nostalgia will be a huge obstacle for me to traverse.

Yesterday was just beautiful. I can't think of a single day in the past year when I've been so free and openhearted.

Song of the moment: "One Chance" by Modest Mouse

Lurkin' & Smirkin'

First of all, i have to admit that i'm no good at blogging and this may become a feeble attempt to stray from the fantasy world of social networking sites that absorb my time and energy in obviously pointless ways.

Second, i can't wait to fill this thing up with adventures and rants while i live in New Zealand. Those of you who chose to follow up on said activities will not be disappointed.

Third, boy oh boy, am I happy. I had the best weekend ever.